When A Dream Dies (A Mustard Seed Musing)

I almost made it this year.

You think I mean that I didn’t fall for any April Fool’s pranks, right?

No, this year I almost made it through all of April 1st without remembering that seven years ago, my dream died. Not to put it too strongly, but my dream job became road kill. I still don’t know why.

But as Phil Vischer wrote in his book, Me, Myself & Bob, when a dream dies, God will work in us and through us in ways we can’t imagine.

I never imagined I’d be a pastor of a local church.

I never imagined I’d be a church planter.

I never imagined that my love of reading and writing would be realized in blogging.

I never imagined I’d mentor others in what it means to care for and lead others.

I never imagined, seven years ago, as I sat in a stairwell and sobbed, that the death of one dream meant the birth of another.

Maybe I never would’ve made the move into pastoring without the death of the dream; maybe this blog would’ve never been.

Phil Vischer likes to talk about the Shummanite woman when he talks about dreams. You can read her story here in 2 Kings 4.

For me, Jeremiah 29 has always held a special place. There, God tells Jeremiah: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back.”

Tonight, I don’t know if anyone is living through the death of a dream. I know that hurts. And that even the people closest to you won’t always understand how much. But I do know this: while I still don’t know why that dream died, I do know that the Almighty Creator of the universe loves us enough to breathe new dreams into our souls.

And even in the midst of the death of a dream, that gives me hope.

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About Jacob Sahms

I like hearing people's stories, and telling a few of my own. You can find me at Bethia United Methodist Church in Chesterfield, Va., coaching on the soccer field or basketball court, or digging into the deep stack of graphic novels, thrillers, and theological books that's been growing for years.
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